So You’re Crying A Lot, Feel Like You’re Losing Your Shit & Sweating Like a Construction Worker? Oh Snap. It’s Menopause.

menopause_illustration_libertyantoniasadler_metro
Illustration by Liberty Antonia Sadler

I’m in menopause. Full blown menopause. I’m 44 so it’s early onset from a prior medical incident following emergency surgery for Endometriosis. Endometriosis is a disease that not a lot of people know about or understand but lemme tell you, it affects A LOT of women. Roughly 10-20% of women in North America suffer from Endometriosis which affects everything menstrual cycles, mood swings, pain. So much pain. You see get these cysts that develop from hormone levels; environmental things like the foods we eat or the chemicals we are exposed to as fetuses and young developing women. These cysts over time multiply and multiply. They sometimes rupture which, depending on the size and location of the cyst can result in not only toxic material flowing in to your body which can cause sepsis. It results in many emergency room visits that should, yes Ladies, don’t you dare think this isn’t ambulance worthy- it is. It will be the most excruciating thing you will ever experience next to childbirth. Truth, and I don’t have children but fuck me- that looks mighty painful. These cysts then go on to form colonies of cysts that can fuse your organs together. My ENTIRE endocrine system is fused in these cysts. That means my ovaries, well I only had one partially working one anyway, my bladder, bowel and uterus are fused. I was unable to carry children. I got pregnant once and I had miscarriage. After the emergency surgery, as my body was in sepsis I was placed on a drug called Lupron which medically induced menopause. After that, I was prescribed Depo Provera for 6 months before getting the Mirena IUD which completely stopped my periods for 7 years. I started experiencing the premenopausal symptoms around age 39 then full blown Menopause this year. It’s been well over a year and a half since my last period.

I don’t have anyone to talk about this with. I mean, you don’t talk about menopause, it’s something old ladies get. Right? So we often suffer in silence with all these symptoms because, it’s embarassing, why I’m not sure. This isn’t the case though. I don’t have a mom or a step mom to talk to me and I seem to be the first one of my friends going through this, that I know of anyway. While I am recovering from pneumonia (I’m so hopped up on meds and this relentless cough) I decided to write a blog post about this.

First thing you need to understand ladies: You’re NOT GOING CRAZY. It’s a fact of life and the end of a natural cycle in a woman’s life. Some of us will have it sooner than later, some of us will have harder than others. It’s not gross. Periods were gross. I won’t get in to the gory details, men can’t handle this talk and it’s my hope a few men will read this so they can understand their partners a little better.

Your hormones are battling it out for sheer dominance at every given moment of the day. Your emotions will become hijacked, your mind will race with thoughts of anger, frustration, sadness, hunger, remorse, guilt, fatigue. This can take place over the course of an hour. It’s kind of like developing Borderline Personality Disorder.

My food tastes have changed dramatically. I don’t crave the sugar and the salt like I once did. Because of other health issues, immune system disorders, CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Fibromyalgia & Osteoarthritis) I eat a fairly clean diet. I reduced my animal proteins and increased plant proteins, I avoid gluten and dairy, I eat as organic as I can, I don’t consume alcohol so this combined with fairly regular low impact exercise I have kept my weight down but it’s not uncommon that women gain weight during this time.

The Crying. Oh God, the crying. Unless you’re a stern woman you will experience bouts of tears that appear out of nowhere. You will cry from anything ranging to past memories, to things you are grateful for. My friend bought me a book that I wanted – BOOM- crying. Someone letting you cut in a line when you’re in a hurry- BOOM- crying. An elderly person wins the big prize on The Price is Right- BOOM-crying. So help you if they win BOTH showcases! It’s an emotional roller coaster. I recommend maybe a COSTCO membership just to save on Kleenex and chocolate.

WHY AM I ON FIRE? Is this what spontaneous human combustion feels like? I think this is what spontaneous human combustion feels like. I NEED TO GET THIS BLOODY SHIRT OFF!!!! All that needed to be bolded because this is how it will go through your mind when a hot flash kicks in. BUY HANDHELD FANS IN BULK. Those bitches break. Mine just broke this past week and I tell you what.. scream .. I need that fucking thing and they are APPARENTLY fucking seasonal so you can’t find one goddamn hand held and often power fan in this Godless city. Sorry for the cursing. THAT’S gonna happen a lot more too. Thanks to the rage of a hundred angry fighting dogs that has now set up pit in your head, frequent shows, all access, anyone can view for free! Be sure to include children because Lord are they little shits now. It’s not their fault. It’s the internet and handheld devices fault. It’s commercialism’s fault. They’ve fried your brain a bit as a parent and as developing youth because…. what’s on Facebook/Pinterest/ Twitter/YouTube……?” It’s not your fault, society has changed us for the worse. We’re all just slightly bigger dicks for it. Hot flashes will begin in your chest area and sweep up your neck and face until, unless you have a fan, you will literally pour water from your body. You’ll sweat more. It’s gross. I can’t often wear make up because of it. What’s the point without a fan your make up is no match for a hot flash. Oooh! Cosmetic companies: Create makeup for hot flash women. Wait, it would probably include some carcinogen and cause cancer. Fuck. Scrap that. Wear layers and go with my bulk handheld fan recommendation. Get a small power fan and keep one next to where you sit in the daytime, in the evening time, and next to your bed. Drink LOTS of water. If you don’t you’ll get A LOT of headaches. It’s because of the hot flashes. A good way to tell if you’re dehydrated is the color of your pee. The darker it is, the more water you pound. It should increasingly get lighter then clear. If it doesn’t, you may have an infection. (bladder, urinary tract, kidney) Go see a doctor for God sake what’s wrong with you? There are some natural things out there you can take in supplement form you can find at any pharmacy or nutrition store. Black Cohosh, flax seed, Calcium, Vitamin D, Wild Yam, Ginseng, DHEA, Dong Quai, Soy (if you’re not allergic of course) Currently I have no access to these right now so I’m going on nothing. You’ll want to keep a towel nearby to cover up the sopping wet mess you will constantly leave on your sheets and pillow cases. Trust me, lay that towel down on the wet spot and go to sleep because Girl, you’re tired and you a’int got time to wash sheets in the middle of the damn night what are you doing?? You’re just gonna be in the same boat tomorrow. But you will need to frequent up your sheet changing regime. Keep a change of clothes nearby and change them if you are wet, I think this could be why I got pneumonia.

It’s like going through puberty all over again I’ve noticed my anxiety has kicked up several notches. You’ll probably experience bouts of insomnia simply because you can’t shut your brain off. I also went through some adult acne. I think my voice is even deeper than it was. Keep to a healthy diet and exercise the way you want to it can help and it’s just common sense. You may get some unexpected unflattering hair growth as well. Tweezers and good depilatory creams will become a must.

Your chances of having a child, or another child is done now. You may need to process this. Cry it out, that is how you process things. You have to allow yourself to feel things in order to move past it. This is true with any traumatic event we encounter. Think about it, cry about it, pray about it, have some inner dialogue about it, and you’ll probably move on and feel better.

Your sex drive will probably decrease Our bodies use sex to procreate mainly so once the need to procreate ends you will probably feel the urge a little less. You may have to put in a little more effort with your partner during this time. That effort would include finding things to stimulate your desires, discussing things with them so they don’t think it’s them which can leave them feeling a little neglected. We should always show love to our partners- when they deserve it. Those assholes.

You should experience some emotional growth as well as some confidence during this time With maturity comes an understanding that shit just is what it is. You can’t control or change everything. You are not Superwoman. You don’t have to have the body of a 25 year old because, Surprise Bitch! You’re NOT 25. I for example, am just a broad. Just a broad getting through day by day through the Grace of God.

It’s not all bad. It can be pretty freeing to not give a fuck anymore.

I really hope this post has prepared you a little bit. Maybe you’ll learn what to expect and can prepare. Share this with your lady friends, share this with partners. Because Menopause is a family event. It will affect your loved ones, your friends, your work, your energy levels and it IS a big deal because of all these things.. I often wonder, if men experienced menopause would there be paid leaves and loads of information out there for them. Possibly a national holiday in honor of it? I dunno, that’s just my guess.

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

And take care of yourself.

Sam

The Blog Broad
This ol’ Broad..

Images

Menopause Your Personal Sauna https://metro.co.uk/2015/08/25/21-things-you-never-knew-about-the-menopause-5341203/

Profile picture taken by me.

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Step Out & Step Up

..can’t sleep

Well, hello old friends.  It’s been a while since I’ve logged in and touched base.  I have been working harder than I have in years, hence my absence.  Between the radio show I host with my partner 5 days a week, I have also added a Saturday radio show to the roster that I host alone.  I’m broadcasting 6 days a week.

“C” has begun a new job in another city.  We will be leaving Saint John New Brunswick.  I am currently staying in Halifax, Nova Scotia- where I’m from.  The city has changed a lot in the three years I was gone.  Some areas I barely recognize due to gentrification.  Thanks Hipsters for driving up rental costs in the city.  Much appreciated.  I have some questions though.  How many micro breweries does one city need?  What’s the big deal with craft beer and Hipsters anyway?  Why the man-bun?  I’m just gonna say it… Craft beer= glass of farts.  There I said it.  You’re all thinking it but I said it.  “C” and I are frantically searching for a suitable rental.  I say frantically because ALL the apartments have been taken by students.  Damn university town.  Guess we know who’s really drinking all that extra gassy craft beer.

On another front, I have somewhat kicked up my medical cannabis activism game.  I’m a newbie; no where near as experienced as many of my peers, but I see injustice.  I hate injustice.  I see people suffering with a plethora of illness ranging from chronic to terminal flailing around a medical system hell bent on prescribing this and that only to manage symptoms, never addressing the cause.  Pharmaceutical tyranny I call it.  I see a void in our current system and I feel like I have just as good of a voice as anyone else.  I have partaken in a video that’s going viral, standing with other patients addressing how invaluable dispensaries are to us.  I have also given an interview with a local paper- it just came out today.  Change doesn’t happen without fight; without discord.  I am stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping up.  I think more of us need to do this in our everyday lives.  Step out, step up.  A little tip?  We won’t die nor break as a result of stepping out of our comfort zones.  As a society, we have become complacent much to our detriment.  We allow ourselves to be distracted by things that don’t affect us, don’t matter or don’t serve us, and when it’s suggested we put forth an effort, suddenly, many people simply “don’t have the time”.  It’s true that there are many demanding professions and careers out there, but let’s be honest; you have time, you just couldn’t be bothered and you’re not a cardiovascular surgeon.

“Leave it for someone else”

“So and So will take care of it”

“Surely the government will step in”

No.  These are incorrect statements, and they stink of naivete.

Your government doesn’t care about you.  You know why?  Because democracy is a misconstrued notion.  It’s a dead sentiment.  Countries are run by corporations.  Money and lobby groups dictate policy and laws.  The FDA?  A laughable organization.  It’s about who can contribute how many dollars.  It’s bullshit studies done by the very same drug companies trying to patent their poisons medicines.  “Surely there are drug trials and tests” you might retort.  Yeah there are.  Two.  Two tests.  Often performed by the drug companies’ own teams.  That’s not biased at all.  You know what else happens in government?  Nepotism.  Look at how many Trumps are fucking up running the White House.  Here in  Halifax, Nova Scotia, the city police chief is our Premiere’s brother.  You can’t make this shit up folks.

Two days ago, my best friend’s dispensary was robbed in broad daylight by police raided.  A lot of people are left without medication now and two people who volunteer their time to help other patients, one- a single mother of three- are now facing charges and court appearances.  Is this necessary?  Is this fair?  This friend  has given me medication at no cost many times so that I am not sick, so that I can function at a reasonable level and enjoy a reasonable quality of life.  (It’s not illegal to give or trade cannabis among patients- just an FYI) Do you know how grateful I am?  This friend has given medication and has offered a compassionate ear to virtually anyone truly in need.  There are thousands of patients that rely on Higher Living Wellness Centre.  Thousands of people have been made to feel safe, welcome, listened to, and many have developed life long friendships, and enjoy a peaceful sense of community with other like minded individuals.  We harm no one.  We bother no one.  We have medical prescriptions for cannabis.  No one is served without a prescription and ID.  The patients they serve range in ages all over the board and the cases range from things like cancer, MS, Parkinson’s, to Fibromyalgia, to rheumatoid arthritis, to PTSD and other painful life altering conditions.  Conditions that many doctors simply give up on.  It becomes a game of “let’s try this” “let’s increase that” ” I heard good things about this drug”  Doctors are in the game of symptom management.  Although here in Canada, doctors can’t accept “kickbacks” they CAN accept training in places like the Bahamas for 2 weeks or a nice golfing vacation.  Doctors are still bought here in Canada, they just accept a different currency.

For many of us, we have come to rely on communities like this.  Let’s not forget, the fast approaching legalization debacle was built on the backs of compassion clubs and dispensaries just like Higher Living Wellness.  It’s infuriating to me that the people with all the knowledge, the care and understanding of this plant; this GOD GIVEN plant are being locked out of an entire industry.  It’s infuriating to me that the government thinks it’s OK for a stage 4 breast cancer patient to get in line at the liquor store behind two twenty year olds looking to enhance their bar game that night.  It’s infuriating to me to tell someone dying of cancer that he has to log in on a computer with a credit card to a faceless entity for his legal medicine?  There’s no one you can ACTUALLY speak with when dealing with LPs.  It’s all email.  There no recommendations, there’s no teaching moments between an LP and a patient.  This is access for sick people??  Are you joking?  This must be a joke.  No one really treats the ill like this do they?  They do in Canada.  They do in Halifax Nova Scotia.  The Nova Scotia government doesn’t care about us, they don’t care about you.  I have already lost faith in doctors, I have since lost faith in my government, I have now lost faith in the police.  It’s become clear to us that we are nothing in their eyes.

We can’t have that.  I can’t have that.  I cannot foresee a future where all my rights have been stripped and I am forced to live a bed bound isolated life again and not have at the very least TRIED to fight back.

I have always been a fighter, I will always be a fighter.

Maybe cannabis is not your fight, that’s fine.  But I bet there’s something you need to be fighting for.  Don’t let your hesitation fester in to a life long regret.  Don’t be caught off guard and steamrolled; governments are notorious for silently removing rights while you’re playing Candy Crush or taking the latest Facebook quiz.  Take action.  There is SO MUCH wrong in this world right now, pick your battle and fight for it.  Fight with everything you have.

Step out, step up.

HLWC shirt

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

Comments.. Anyone?

Comments?? Anyone?
First, let me start off noting how much of a terrible blogger I am. Since February, wifey and I have been doing a Monday to Friday live radio show on Higher Living Wellness Radio, an internet radio station. I also write a blog for them. It surrounds medical cannabis, cannabis news and reviews from a Canadian perspective. We also play music to medicate by. A lot of harder rock, alternative and metal. That keeps me pretty busy.
After the show, I’m usually over stimulated from constant web surfing, tweeting and interacting on several social media platforms all whilst listening to metal music. This has resulted in my reluctant absence from my blog. I mean, I want to blog. I’m just too damn tired.
One thing I do often have energy for is reading random web comments on Facebook, Twitter and Reddit posts. I’m a bit of a lurker. If you ever want a snapshot of a microcosm that amplifies ALL that is wrong in our society, read some internet comments, but not for TOO long, as you will quickly lose all faith in humanity leading you to the conclusion that we are all doomed as humans.
People are rude. Not just rude, but outright savages with one another. It’s amazing how people seem to feel free and entitled to unleash the most obscene, vulgar, hatred upon another person. It pops up in the most unexpected places too. For example, today, I was scrolling through my news feed when I saw a post on one of the (far too) many dachshund groups I belong to. Someone needed help to pay for an expensive surgery for their dog and right away someone felt the need to judge this person for paying a lot of money to save her companion. First of all, most people think of their dogs as family, many people only have their dogs and no one else, and if something happens to your family- you take care of it. Is it a lot of money? Yes? But who am I to judge? I’d do it too if my Lucy got sick and I was able to raise the funds to make her better. This simple post turned into a hate fest, begun by one person. Things often escalate quickly in the comments section of an internet post. It can go from “Stuff it” to “I will peel the skin from your face and turn it in to a soup to feed you with” in literally seconds.
The problem with spending too much time reading comments is that it ultimately leads you to the temptation to participate in the discussion. “Well, I don’t like THAT, here’s MY opinion.” Why do we feel the need to do this? Who does it serve really? Yeah, you might get off some quick witted zingers to your satisfaction but who cares? Why contribute? When I saw all the strife this post caused I eventually DID comment. I commented with the fact that statements like this individual’s are meant to incite anger to create fights online. Some people have very little in their lives, some people can’t process things, some people are just having a bad day and some people are just plain mentally ill. You can’t reason with these people. The best thing to do is ignore responses like that. Don’t give that person any attention, after all, this is what they seek so denying them the satisfaction is like snuffing out a candle. It can stop there if you want it to. Just don’t engage. The original poster of the offensive statement attempted to initiate an argument with me. I responded with a simple, “Nope- not engaging, sorry- have a nice day” with a big smiley face.
There is so much wrong with our world I can’t even begin to write about it, but the thing I see most frequently, is how terrible we treat one another. How quickly we can verbally assault or attack someone online from the comforts of our home and the protective barrier of a computer screen. It’s disparaging. The lack of respect we show to other human beings is overwhelming at times.
Where do comments like this come from? One word. Pride. People have over inflated senses of who they are now with the popularity of social media. Everything is about ego and making one’s self appear “better” than what one truly is. We need to step back and take a lesson in humility. Learn to be humble. Resist taking part in these types of negative engagements online because it only spreads negativity. Why let some random person you’ll never meet have the power to sour YOUR day? Exercise restraint, scroll past and move on. I feel like we all need to start BEING the changes we want to see in our world.

What does the Bible say about pride and humility?

Jeremiah 9:23
This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves

Proverbs 8:13
To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Proverbs 21:24
The proud and arrogant person—“Mocker” is his name— behaves with insolent fury.

And finally,

James 4:10
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up

Be better than the comments you read. Be that change.

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,
Sam

photo credit

https://phys.org/news/2016-12-news-sites-online-comments-electorate.html

I’m Not Dead.. I Swear

The Green Room Set UpI’ve had no energy left to blog lately.  I have begun a side project.  My partner and I started a live radio show that airs 5 days a week.  It’s been exhausting!

Our show is called The Green Room Hfx.  We live in Saint John, New Brunswick but we are from, and our sponsor is in Halifax, Nova Scotia.  We talk about Medical Cannabis, we review cannabis products, discuss Canadian Cannabis news, play music and create content.  I’m still writing the cannabis blog as well so my employment right now is based all around cannabis.  It’s great to be working with something you love and are passionate about.  It just takes a lot of my time as I create content with my partner, interview people, scour the news and do all the social media stuff.  Before I know it, it’s 10:00 pm and I haven’t even eaten yet!

I have missed checking in with my favorite bloggers and I promise to take some time over the new few days and catch up on your posts.  I have terrible time management skills and it’s really showing.

I’m tired.  I’ve been working harder than I have in years.  Some days I’m on the computer for as much as 10 hours a day.  I haven’t worked in a professional setting in over 6 years so it’s been a challenge for my body to get used to sitting up so long and so frequently.

I have big plans for this radio show, there’s a lot I want to do with it.  Live interviews is one of my big goals.  It’s taken some time to learn how to use the mix board and software to produce a radio show but it’s been a fun learning experience.  Frustrating at times, but fun.

If any of you use cannabis medically and would like to share your story, please let me know in the comments.

Blackwater indica
Blackwater strain

You can listen live to our show Monday to Friday, 4-7 pm AST

https://streams.radio.co/sacb3f7a85/listen

I’d really appreciate it if you checked out our other social media platforms

Instagram Facebook & Twitter 

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable< Live Graciously,

Sam

 

Jane, 36

My latest for Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc…

Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc.

opiate abuseI met Jane online.  She wanted to remain anonymous.

Jane was in high school when she first experimented with cannabis, hallucinogens, pills and cocaine.  She admits that when she was in elementary school she looked forward to doing the very drugs she was warned about in her fifth grade DARE class.  

“I think I already had it in me”  when she talks about engaging in risky behavior as a teen.  After high school she moved on to using MDMA and used it heavily for several months.  She then enjoyed a brief period of sobriety from hard drugs.  Cannabis remained a constant.  

At 21, Jane broke up with her boyfriend and moved back home.  Her mother had been diagnosed with MS, leaving Jane with ready access to Fentanyl patches and Oxycontin of varying strengths.  

“This is how I got hooked on opiates.  I was looking in the medicine…

View original post 1,166 more words

The World Votes to Keep Internet or Scrap it Altogether

Tonight, I asked “C” a hypothetical question.

If all the countries of the world simultaneously held a vote on whether to keep the internet or go back to the old ways, how would you vote? 

Before Internet

We both had to think about it for a few minutes.

I think the internet has had both negative and positive impacts on our society and the way we live.

Being instantly connected, at all times can be both a blessing and a curse.  I can’t possibly be the only one that finds instant this and the texting and the constant barrage of beeps and dings intrusive and bothersome.  By the same token, being able to instantly answer any question you have no matter the topic via a quick web search or through programs like Siri is time saving and convenient.

Having internet and a good device, allows you limitless possibilities.  Convenient ways to network, immediate access to information, easy ways to shop, thousands of games and millions of cat and dog videos.  It’s brilliant!

I was first introduced to the internet when I was in University.  We had computer labs where you could go and check your Pegasus Mail on a monochrome screen.  I remember the first time I sent an email.  Pointing at the little flying envelope icon, I marveled at how simple it was.  It was an easy way to stay connected with other students that you may be doing group work with.  Text messaging was still a few years away at that point and this was as close to instant as we had.

I couldn’t believe how far we’d come as people.  Before email, at best, we could leave a message on their home answering machine and just accept that you wouldn’t be resolving this today.

When it’s being used leisurely, I love the internet.  It’s great.  I’m totally one of those people who constantly check their phone.  I love Netflix and I love that I can take my iPad to bed with me to watch videos until I get tired.  But when you have a job to do, and it’s being slow or your computer crashes or a program doesn’t work like it’s supposed to.  I curse it.  I curse the day it became publicly available.  Which, according to the internet, is August 6, 1991.

Internet and technology certainly has made life more challenging at times.  For example, I spent the last week and a half preparing for our first broadcast on internet radio.  Well, we spent hours and hours learning new programs, searching for good topics, writing out bits and the flow of the near 3 hour show only to learn upon setting up for broadcasting live- our Windows 10 has expired.  Apparently when you buy computers now, it comes with Windows and Office but no one tells you it’s only registered for a year.  After that, you are required to pay $165 for a new activation key for Windows.  What a scam!  We can’t afford that right now and without it we can’t broadcast, do our podcasts or get important Windows updates.  The very thing that has allowed me such an opportunity, has taken it away just like that.  The irony, is bitterly painful.

Despite the obvious nettlesome aspects of virtually living on the internet, there lies a darker sinister element.  The crime, the hacking, the pedophiles, the identity theft, the loss of privacy, the dark web, the cyber-bullying and the way people talk to one another online behind the protection of anonymity.  It’s made us colder, shortened our attention spans, affected relationships and has changed the way we even spend time in person with one another.  It’s made us less trusting and more paranoid.  It’s turning us in to simulated zombies.  It’s confused us with fake news and propaganda.  When we think we’ve become smarter, the internet lets us know with a leak or a whistle blower just how dumb we’ve actually become.

I think that I would vote to go back to the old ways.  If nothing more than to not be hunched over a computer or device everyday.  Do you remember sunshine?  I miss the smell of outside.  Can you remember peace and quiet?  I miss face to face communication.  I miss the bliss of ignorance and not knowing every foul detail of every wicked deed done.

ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss

 

How would you vote?

A)  Go back to the old ways

B)   Keep the internet

I’d love to hear your feedback!

Make sure you’ve clicked Subscribe and are following me on Twitter!

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

 

Images

Life Before Internet  https://ricardobarroselt.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/life-before-the-internet-a-conversation-lesson/

Freedom  https://pixabay.com/en/woman-happiness-sunrise-silhouette-570883/ User jill111

Psssst… Hey…

Always Remember

Pssst.  Hey you.  Yeah you reading this.  You know what?  You’re special.

You’ve been through a lot which is partially what led eventually to blog and then stumble upon this post.  or maybe you clicked on it from a social media site,  from a friend or colleague.  Maybe you stumbled upon it from Twitter.  Either way; YOU ARE SPECIAL.

You are loved by someone.  Be it your partner, family, friends, pets, colleagues, online friends and God.. even if you don’t believe in Him.  You matter.

You are beautiful.  For all the cracks and flaws and pain and things that have changed you, scarred you even.  You are beautiful.

You are here.  Here now in one single moment.  A moment of self reflection and maybe a little doubt of my sincerity.  I assure you, I mean what I say.

You need to be reminded from time to time that you have an impact on other people.  Somewhere out there, someone admires you.  Admires an aspect of your personality that perhaps they don’t have the courage or resources to emulate themselves.

You need to be reminded that the people who matter, are grateful for you.  Your absence would create a serious void in these people’s lives and hearts.

You need to know you are appreciated.  If you’ve sacrificed, it’s not gone unnoticed.  Even if the people you’ve sacrificed for are too ashamed or prideful to thank you.

I would like to tell you thank you.

Thank you for your kindness/ help/ listening skills/ drives/ financial help/ making me laugh/ thinking of me/ including me/ the coffees and fancy drinks/ food/ love/ friendship/ support/ encouragement.

I just you might need this today…

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

 

Sam

 

Images

You’re Special  http://www.lovethispic.com/image/92476/always-remember-youre-special

 

If Creativity is a Drug, it’s Probably Like Crystal Meth…

no healthier drug than creativityMy friend shared this on Facebook today.  I couldn’t agree more.  That being said, if creativity is a drug, it’s probably most like crystal meth.  I mean, I’ve never tried crystal meth (never would) but I watch A&E’s Intervention and have seen the movie Spun a couple of times.

Creativity is probably one of my favorite drugs, next to cannabis and antihistamines.  (I do love to breath out of both nose holes). When I get on a creative roll, whether it be with art or crafts or writing, I am virtually unreachable.   I didn’t hear what you just said because I’m editing my next piece in my head while you’re talking.  I find it difficult to sit still.  I’m constantly reaching for my notepad to jot down ideas and funny observances hoping to insert it later in a witty blog post.  When I can’t look at the screen anymore because my eyes are going crossed and my head hurts, I pick up my knitting or one of my coloring books.  Because, I must always be creating something.

Take right now for example.  It’s 4:10 am.  “C” is snoring away, rattling the windows, sawing enough wood to build a small village.  I am here.  Listening to my favorite YouTube narrator weaving his creepy Reddit tales that normally send me off to sleep; instead, I’m laying wide awake thinking about the things I want to write.

Most recently, my friend, that I write a cannabis blog for, approached me about putting together a radio show.  My friend owns her own business in the cannabis industry and literally has her hands in everything.  She used to sell mortgages, is a Registered Massage Therapist, an Activist, puts together Expos and festivals, has a bunch of dogs, helps the poor, and most recently, she’s sponsoring an internet radio station in addition to the blog.  I joke, but she’s a keen business woman.  I have been talking about doing a podcast with my fiancee for a while so the opportunity (kick in the pants) finally arrived.

C” recently lost her job.  She works in radio.  Terrestrial radio.  She was the co-host of a popular morning show in our city, and, as often happens in radio, her job was terminated.  It has been stressful.  We are looking at moving provinces again so we have to slowly pack up our lives from the last two and a half years while she searches for new employment.  We almost had it solved with a job back home in Halifax, Nova Scotia, but that deal fell through so we ended up cancelling that move.

Superman and KryptoniteStress is like the kryptonite of my creativity.  It blocks it.  This is part of the reason why I have been absent from my blog more than I’d like.  I’m also still dealing with the pain of a slowly healing broken wrist and hand, but stress has been the hardest.  It’s like withdrawing from opiates.  My flowing creativity is like heroin and after going balls out for four months, I have finally run out.

For close to a month, I couldn’t think of anything to write and it drove me nuts.  My appetite went down, I couldn’t sleep.  All I did was watch Netflix and knit.  I knitted like never before.  I knitted 5 things.  5 of the same things.

Just when I thought I was doomed to just sit through all the turds on Netflix.  “I may as well watch Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.  I don’t have anything else going on.”  And for the record, that, Ladies and Gentlemen, IS a turd of a show.   My buddy approached me about the radio show.

Little does she know, she basically just handed me a big ol’ 8 Ball and left me to my own devices.  I’ve been partying hard on creativity the past few days prepping our first show.  Who didn’t play Radio DJ as a kid?  I had many cassette tapes filled with mine and my friends’ pre-pubescent voices introducing our favorite songs and making up commercials on the fly.  I have more things to learn before we go live, mostly the technical aspect as well as editing and such but I’m a fast learner.

I am so excited and scared and nervous that SURPRISE!  I can’t sleep.

This helps.  Finally writing a blog post helps.  Now I should be able to climb back in to bed, even with “C” steadily honking away, pop my headphones in and sneak in an episode of The Sasquatch Chronicles podcast.  Don’t you dare judge me.  I have an inquiring mind and the stories are riveting.

Read one of my other posts, and be sure to subscribe via email and follow me on Twitter

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

Images

Kryptonite to Superman  https://kugelmass.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/why-does-kryptonite-hurt-superman/

 

 

 

 

 

The Price is… Too Much

Firstly, I apologize for my recent absence.  With the holidays and travelling and personal matters I cannot share at this time, and an officially broken wrist, I have been too distracted, tired or sore to go on social media.  I needed a break (pardon the pun).

Not much has been going on here but a few minor observances and a shit load of Netflix watching.  I’ve watched a few movies I enjoyed like I, Tonya, and the Disaster Artist.  I was pleased to see Franco take an award for that.  I blew through the Wormwood series in a day, I enjoyed the biographical movie All Eyez on Me about the iconic Tupac Shakur.  It’s been pretty quiet here.

Quiet.  That’s something I enjoy.  Peace and quiet.  I don’t like loud things, loud movies, loud shows, loud noises.  I’m an aficionado of documentary films and quiet quirky humor without the blatantly obnoxious laugh tracks.  I’m a big girl, I know when to laugh, thanks.  Even my musical tastes have changed.  When going for my MP3s to accompany house cleaning, I’m beginning to shy away from the loud raucous rock and metal that I used to listen to, opting for Radiohead, Wilco or, most recently, Diana Ross and the Supremes.  You can’t go wrong with Motown.

Cannabis brownieWhich brings me to the crux of my story.  Recently I acquired a medicinal brownie.  I’ve been pretty blunt and upfront about the fact that I have a permit/prescription to possess medical cannabis for chronic pain and PTSD.  So, I got this brownie..  Keep in mind I am very experienced, a veteran of cannabis if you will.  I have been using it for about a decade for pain, I have done my research, I know my strains and I know my doses.  I have never had a bad experience… Until now.

This brownie was about 3 inches long and maybe an inch wide.  I split it in half.  It’s a Saturday night so I offer the other half to my partner so she can relax.  Apparently this was not a 2 dose brownie.  I repeat, NOT a 2 dose brownie.  In actual fact, this was a four or 5 dose brownie.  So we unknowingly nibble at our brownies while enjoying a cup of coffee with a little Baileys in it.  Mistake number 2.  Do not mix said brownie with alcohol, even the wee bit of Baileys you dumped in your after dinner coffee.  I put on a recent episode of The Price is Right for shits and giggles.  We don’t have cable so occasionally I find game show episodes online for us to watch so we can feel like real people that have cable.  The Price is Right was mistake number 3.  It was at the second big wheel spin to see who the showcase showdown opponent was going to be when the brownie took hold.  

Holy fuck.

Too much
Too much The Blog BroadThere were flashing lights, bells ringing, thunderous applause, ” It’s a brand new car!!!” , people screaming and molesting Drew, saying hello to every fucking person they knew, people losing their shit screaming down aisles flailing their arms, people pushing past stunned models to grab at their haul of prizes, people screaming random numbers at shocked contestants, weird T shirts begging to Drew to love them, flashy costumes, honking horns, that yodelling Swiss guy, then it’s topped off with guilt about the unneutered pet population.

How do people watch this?

How the fuck does Drew Carey sleep at night?  No wonder he’s lost weight, poor bastard probably has PTSD.  I sure hope they pay him well and he has a good benefits package.

How did Bob Barker do it all those years?  I mean that guy was old as shit when he retired. 

That show is like an overdose of Aderall with a hit of meth all in one 21 minute episode.  It was too much.  TOO MUCH.

This brownie was too much.  TOO MUCH.

All we could do was go lay on our bare bed, (I had the brilliant idea of washing the bedding pre-brownie).  We had been over stimulated.  We grabbed the comforter and threw it over us like a protective fort.  Looking at each other under our fort all we could do, was repeat “Too much.  Too much.  Too much.”  

The lights were too much, music was too much, smells were too much, touch was too much, The Price is Right  was TOO MUCH.

I vomited a couple of times and crawled back into the fort with “C”.  We fell asleep.  I eventually woke up and finished the laundry but “C” was out for the night.  Lesson learned.  Well played meth brownie, well played.

It did get me thinking about how The Price is Right kind of mirrors American society.  

Play the game, win prizes!

The more shit, the better!

LOUD LOUD LOUD!!  with some screaming for good measure

It’s all about advertising, but throw in some literal bells and whistles and flashing lights and no one’s the wiser!

I want it all now now now

Who cares about the fine print, like duties and taxes that need to be paid, a lot of people don’t even take their prizes because it costs too much.  Nothing is truly free but it looks like it is and that’s all that matters


Yay!! America! 

yeesh… 

Too much. 


Live Humbly, Start Small, Live Cautiously,

Sam


Images

Hank Hill/ too high  http://media.ifunny.com/results/2014/02/06/yqeg15gwyf.jpg

Price is Right gif  https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/tpir.gif?w=650

Brownie/Selfie are my own.

Jeff, 43

My latest piece on the 902HigherLiving Blog..

Meet Jeff…

Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc.

Red Mountain BC Red Mountain Skiing

Jeff had a major skiing accident.  An avid skier and mountain biker, Jeff took on Red Ski Mountain, BC whenever he had the chance.  In April 2000 he had a bad accident.   During his fall, his belt buckle wedged in to his ribs essentially pushing them in.  Doctors said they had pushed ribs back into place before but had never pulled them out.  So, they left it.  He also found out he had bruising around his heart.  He complained to doctors about the constant pain in his ribs.  They eventually healed but not properly.

Taking months to heal, Jeff got back on his mountain bike and then his skis.  In 2003 he had another skiing accident.  “When my ribs healed all crooked, it ended up throwing my lower back out.”  Jeff’s medical report indicates 2 spinal injuries.

In 2006, one of his best friends breaks his back…

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