I’m Not Dead.. I Swear

The Green Room Set UpI’ve had no energy left to blog lately.  I have begun a side project.  My partner and I started a live radio show that airs 5 days a week.  It’s been exhausting!

Our show is called The Green Room Hfx.  We live in Saint John, New Brunswick but we are from, and our sponsor is in Halifax, Nova Scotia.  We talk about Medical Cannabis, we review cannabis products, discuss Canadian Cannabis news, play music and create content.  I’m still writing the cannabis blog as well so my employment right now is based all around cannabis.  It’s great to be working with something you love and are passionate about.  It just takes a lot of my time as I create content with my partner, interview people, scour the news and do all the social media stuff.  Before I know it, it’s 10:00 pm and I haven’t even eaten yet!

I have missed checking in with my favorite bloggers and I promise to take some time over the new few days and catch up on your posts.  I have terrible time management skills and it’s really showing.

I’m tired.  I’ve been working harder than I have in years.  Some days I’m on the computer for as much as 10 hours a day.  I haven’t worked in a professional setting in over 6 years so it’s been a challenge for my body to get used to sitting up so long and so frequently.

I have big plans for this radio show, there’s a lot I want to do with it.  Live interviews is one of my big goals.  It’s taken some time to learn how to use the mix board and software to produce a radio show but it’s been a fun learning experience.  Frustrating at times, but fun.

If any of you use cannabis medically and would like to share your story, please let me know in the comments.

Blackwater indica
Blackwater strain

You can listen live to our show Monday to Friday, 4-7 pm AST

https://streams.radio.co/sacb3f7a85/listen

I’d really appreciate it if you checked out our other social media platforms

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Live Humbly, Be Charitable< Live Graciously,

Sam

 

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Jane, 36

My latest for Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc…

Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc.

opiate abuseI met Jane online.  She wanted to remain anonymous.

Jane was in high school when she first experimented with cannabis, hallucinogens, pills and cocaine.  She admits that when she was in elementary school she looked forward to doing the very drugs she was warned about in her fifth grade DARE class.  

“I think I already had it in me”  when she talks about engaging in risky behavior as a teen.  After high school she moved on to using MDMA and used it heavily for several months.  She then enjoyed a brief period of sobriety from hard drugs.  Cannabis remained a constant.  

At 21, Jane broke up with her boyfriend and moved back home.  Her mother had been diagnosed with MS, leaving Jane with ready access to Fentanyl patches and Oxycontin of varying strengths.  

“This is how I got hooked on opiates.  I was looking in the medicine…

View original post 1,166 more words

The World Votes to Keep Internet or Scrap it Altogether

Tonight, I asked “C” a hypothetical question.

If all the countries of the world simultaneously held a vote on whether to keep the internet or go back to the old ways, how would you vote? 

Before Internet

We both had to think about it for a few minutes.

I think the internet has had both negative and positive impacts on our society and the way we live.

Being instantly connected, at all times can be both a blessing and a curse.  I can’t possibly be the only one that finds instant this and the texting and the constant barrage of beeps and dings intrusive and bothersome.  By the same token, being able to instantly answer any question you have no matter the topic via a quick web search or through programs like Siri is time saving and convenient.

Having internet and a good device, allows you limitless possibilities.  Convenient ways to network, immediate access to information, easy ways to shop, thousands of games and millions of cat and dog videos.  It’s brilliant!

I was first introduced to the internet when I was in University.  We had computer labs where you could go and check your Pegasus Mail on a monochrome screen.  I remember the first time I sent an email.  Pointing at the little flying envelope icon, I marveled at how simple it was.  It was an easy way to stay connected with other students that you may be doing group work with.  Text messaging was still a few years away at that point and this was as close to instant as we had.

I couldn’t believe how far we’d come as people.  Before email, at best, we could leave a message on their home answering machine and just accept that you wouldn’t be resolving this today.

When it’s being used leisurely, I love the internet.  It’s great.  I’m totally one of those people who constantly check their phone.  I love Netflix and I love that I can take my iPad to bed with me to watch videos until I get tired.  But when you have a job to do, and it’s being slow or your computer crashes or a program doesn’t work like it’s supposed to.  I curse it.  I curse the day it became publicly available.  Which, according to the internet, is August 6, 1991.

Internet and technology certainly has made life more challenging at times.  For example, I spent the last week and a half preparing for our first broadcast on internet radio.  Well, we spent hours and hours learning new programs, searching for good topics, writing out bits and the flow of the near 3 hour show only to learn upon setting up for broadcasting live- our Windows 10 has expired.  Apparently when you buy computers now, it comes with Windows and Office but no one tells you it’s only registered for a year.  After that, you are required to pay $165 for a new activation key for Windows.  What a scam!  We can’t afford that right now and without it we can’t broadcast, do our podcasts or get important Windows updates.  The very thing that has allowed me such an opportunity, has taken it away just like that.  The irony, is bitterly painful.

Despite the obvious nettlesome aspects of virtually living on the internet, there lies a darker sinister element.  The crime, the hacking, the pedophiles, the identity theft, the loss of privacy, the dark web, the cyber-bullying and the way people talk to one another online behind the protection of anonymity.  It’s made us colder, shortened our attention spans, affected relationships and has changed the way we even spend time in person with one another.  It’s made us less trusting and more paranoid.  It’s turning us in to simulated zombies.  It’s confused us with fake news and propaganda.  When we think we’ve become smarter, the internet lets us know with a leak or a whistle blower just how dumb we’ve actually become.

I think that I would vote to go back to the old ways.  If nothing more than to not be hunched over a computer or device everyday.  Do you remember sunshine?  I miss the smell of outside.  Can you remember peace and quiet?  I miss face to face communication.  I miss the bliss of ignorance and not knowing every foul detail of every wicked deed done.

ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss

 

How would you vote?

A)  Go back to the old ways

B)   Keep the internet

I’d love to hear your feedback!

Make sure you’ve clicked Subscribe and are following me on Twitter!

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

 

Images

Life Before Internet  https://ricardobarroselt.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/life-before-the-internet-a-conversation-lesson/

Freedom  https://pixabay.com/en/woman-happiness-sunrise-silhouette-570883/ User jill111

Psssst… Hey…

Always Remember

Pssst.  Hey you.  Yeah you reading this.  You know what?  You’re special.

You’ve been through a lot which is partially what led eventually to blog and then stumble upon this post.  or maybe you clicked on it from a social media site,  from a friend or colleague.  Maybe you stumbled upon it from Twitter.  Either way; YOU ARE SPECIAL.

You are loved by someone.  Be it your partner, family, friends, pets, colleagues, online friends and God.. even if you don’t believe in Him.  You matter.

You are beautiful.  For all the cracks and flaws and pain and things that have changed you, scarred you even.  You are beautiful.

You are here.  Here now in one single moment.  A moment of self reflection and maybe a little doubt of my sincerity.  I assure you, I mean what I say.

You need to be reminded from time to time that you have an impact on other people.  Somewhere out there, someone admires you.  Admires an aspect of your personality that perhaps they don’t have the courage or resources to emulate themselves.

You need to be reminded that the people who matter, are grateful for you.  Your absence would create a serious void in these people’s lives and hearts.

You need to know you are appreciated.  If you’ve sacrificed, it’s not gone unnoticed.  Even if the people you’ve sacrificed for are too ashamed or prideful to thank you.

I would like to tell you thank you.

Thank you for your kindness/ help/ listening skills/ drives/ financial help/ making me laugh/ thinking of me/ including me/ the coffees and fancy drinks/ food/ love/ friendship/ support/ encouragement.

I just you might need this today…

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

 

Sam

 

Images

You’re Special  http://www.lovethispic.com/image/92476/always-remember-youre-special

 

If Creativity is a Drug, it’s Probably Like Crystal Meth…

no healthier drug than creativityMy friend shared this on Facebook today.  I couldn’t agree more.  That being said, if creativity is a drug, it’s probably most like crystal meth.  I mean, I’ve never tried crystal meth (never would) but I watch A&E’s Intervention and have seen the movie Spun a couple of times.

Creativity is probably one of my favorite drugs, next to cannabis and antihistamines.  (I do love to breath out of both nose holes). When I get on a creative roll, whether it be with art or crafts or writing, I am virtually unreachable.   I didn’t hear what you just said because I’m editing my next piece in my head while you’re talking.  I find it difficult to sit still.  I’m constantly reaching for my notepad to jot down ideas and funny observances hoping to insert it later in a witty blog post.  When I can’t look at the screen anymore because my eyes are going crossed and my head hurts, I pick up my knitting or one of my coloring books.  Because, I must always be creating something.

Take right now for example.  It’s 4:10 am.  “C” is snoring away, rattling the windows, sawing enough wood to build a small village.  I am here.  Listening to my favorite YouTube narrator weaving his creepy Reddit tales that normally send me off to sleep; instead, I’m laying wide awake thinking about the things I want to write.

Most recently, my friend, that I write a cannabis blog for, approached me about putting together a radio show.  My friend owns her own business in the cannabis industry and literally has her hands in everything.  She used to sell mortgages, is a Registered Massage Therapist, an Activist, puts together Expos and festivals, has a bunch of dogs, helps the poor, and most recently, she’s sponsoring an internet radio station in addition to the blog.  I joke, but she’s a keen business woman.  I have been talking about doing a podcast with my fiancee for a while so the opportunity (kick in the pants) finally arrived.

C” recently lost her job.  She works in radio.  Terrestrial radio.  She was the co-host of a popular morning show in our city, and, as often happens in radio, her job was terminated.  It has been stressful.  We are looking at moving provinces again so we have to slowly pack up our lives from the last two and a half years while she searches for new employment.  We almost had it solved with a job back home in Halifax, Nova Scotia, but that deal fell through so we ended up cancelling that move.

Superman and KryptoniteStress is like the kryptonite of my creativity.  It blocks it.  This is part of the reason why I have been absent from my blog more than I’d like.  I’m also still dealing with the pain of a slowly healing broken wrist and hand, but stress has been the hardest.  It’s like withdrawing from opiates.  My flowing creativity is like heroin and after going balls out for four months, I have finally run out.

For close to a month, I couldn’t think of anything to write and it drove me nuts.  My appetite went down, I couldn’t sleep.  All I did was watch Netflix and knit.  I knitted like never before.  I knitted 5 things.  5 of the same things.

Just when I thought I was doomed to just sit through all the turds on Netflix.  “I may as well watch Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.  I don’t have anything else going on.”  And for the record, that, Ladies and Gentlemen, IS a turd of a show.   My buddy approached me about the radio show.

Little does she know, she basically just handed me a big ol’ 8 Ball and left me to my own devices.  I’ve been partying hard on creativity the past few days prepping our first show.  Who didn’t play Radio DJ as a kid?  I had many cassette tapes filled with mine and my friends’ pre-pubescent voices introducing our favorite songs and making up commercials on the fly.  I have more things to learn before we go live, mostly the technical aspect as well as editing and such but I’m a fast learner.

I am so excited and scared and nervous that SURPRISE!  I can’t sleep.

This helps.  Finally writing a blog post helps.  Now I should be able to climb back in to bed, even with “C” steadily honking away, pop my headphones in and sneak in an episode of The Sasquatch Chronicles podcast.  Don’t you dare judge me.  I have an inquiring mind and the stories are riveting.

Read one of my other posts, and be sure to subscribe via email and follow me on Twitter

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

Images

Kryptonite to Superman  https://kugelmass.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/why-does-kryptonite-hurt-superman/

 

 

 

 

 

The Price is… Too Much

Firstly, I apologize for my recent absence.  With the holidays and travelling and personal matters I cannot share at this time, and an officially broken wrist, I have been too distracted, tired or sore to go on social media.  I needed a break (pardon the pun).

Not much has been going on here but a few minor observances and a shit load of Netflix watching.  I’ve watched a few movies I enjoyed like I, Tonya, and the Disaster Artist.  I was pleased to see Franco take an award for that.  I blew through the Wormwood series in a day, I enjoyed the biographical movie All Eyez on Me about the iconic Tupac Shakur.  It’s been pretty quiet here.

Quiet.  That’s something I enjoy.  Peace and quiet.  I don’t like loud things, loud movies, loud shows, loud noises.  I’m an aficionado of documentary films and quiet quirky humor without the blatantly obnoxious laugh tracks.  I’m a big girl, I know when to laugh, thanks.  Even my musical tastes have changed.  When going for my MP3s to accompany house cleaning, I’m beginning to shy away from the loud raucous rock and metal that I used to listen to, opting for Radiohead, Wilco or, most recently, Diana Ross and the Supremes.  You can’t go wrong with Motown.

Cannabis brownieWhich brings me to the crux of my story.  Recently I acquired a medicinal brownie.  I’ve been pretty blunt and upfront about the fact that I have a permit/prescription to possess medical cannabis for chronic pain and PTSD.  So, I got this brownie..  Keep in mind I am very experienced, a veteran of cannabis if you will.  I have been using it for about a decade for pain, I have done my research, I know my strains and I know my doses.  I have never had a bad experience… Until now.

This brownie was about 3 inches long and maybe an inch wide.  I split it in half.  It’s a Saturday night so I offer the other half to my partner so she can relax.  Apparently this was not a 2 dose brownie.  I repeat, NOT a 2 dose brownie.  In actual fact, this was a four or 5 dose brownie.  So we unknowingly nibble at our brownies while enjoying a cup of coffee with a little Baileys in it.  Mistake number 2.  Do not mix said brownie with alcohol, even the wee bit of Baileys you dumped in your after dinner coffee.  I put on a recent episode of The Price is Right for shits and giggles.  We don’t have cable so occasionally I find game show episodes online for us to watch so we can feel like real people that have cable.  The Price is Right was mistake number 3.  It was at the second big wheel spin to see who the showcase showdown opponent was going to be when the brownie took hold.  

Holy fuck.

Too much
Too much The Blog BroadThere were flashing lights, bells ringing, thunderous applause, ” It’s a brand new car!!!” , people screaming and molesting Drew, saying hello to every fucking person they knew, people losing their shit screaming down aisles flailing their arms, people pushing past stunned models to grab at their haul of prizes, people screaming random numbers at shocked contestants, weird T shirts begging to Drew to love them, flashy costumes, honking horns, that yodelling Swiss guy, then it’s topped off with guilt about the unneutered pet population.

How do people watch this?

How the fuck does Drew Carey sleep at night?  No wonder he’s lost weight, poor bastard probably has PTSD.  I sure hope they pay him well and he has a good benefits package.

How did Bob Barker do it all those years?  I mean that guy was old as shit when he retired. 

That show is like an overdose of Aderall with a hit of meth all in one 21 minute episode.  It was too much.  TOO MUCH.

This brownie was too much.  TOO MUCH.

All we could do was go lay on our bare bed, (I had the brilliant idea of washing the bedding pre-brownie).  We had been over stimulated.  We grabbed the comforter and threw it over us like a protective fort.  Looking at each other under our fort all we could do, was repeat “Too much.  Too much.  Too much.”  

The lights were too much, music was too much, smells were too much, touch was too much, The Price is Right  was TOO MUCH.

I vomited a couple of times and crawled back into the fort with “C”.  We fell asleep.  I eventually woke up and finished the laundry but “C” was out for the night.  Lesson learned.  Well played meth brownie, well played.

It did get me thinking about how The Price is Right kind of mirrors American society.  

Play the game, win prizes!

The more shit, the better!

LOUD LOUD LOUD!!  with some screaming for good measure

It’s all about advertising, but throw in some literal bells and whistles and flashing lights and no one’s the wiser!

I want it all now now now

Who cares about the fine print, like duties and taxes that need to be paid, a lot of people don’t even take their prizes because it costs too much.  Nothing is truly free but it looks like it is and that’s all that matters


Yay!! America! 

yeesh… 

Too much. 


Live Humbly, Start Small, Live Cautiously,

Sam


Images

Hank Hill/ too high  http://media.ifunny.com/results/2014/02/06/yqeg15gwyf.jpg

Price is Right gif  https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/tpir.gif?w=650

Brownie/Selfie are my own.

Jeff, 43

My latest piece on the 902HigherLiving Blog..

Meet Jeff…

Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc.

Red Mountain BC Red Mountain Skiing

Jeff had a major skiing accident.  An avid skier and mountain biker, Jeff took on Red Ski Mountain, BC whenever he had the chance.  In April 2000 he had a bad accident.   During his fall, his belt buckle wedged in to his ribs essentially pushing them in.  Doctors said they had pushed ribs back into place before but had never pulled them out.  So, they left it.  He also found out he had bruising around his heart.  He complained to doctors about the constant pain in his ribs.  They eventually healed but not properly.

Taking months to heal, Jeff got back on his mountain bike and then his skis.  In 2003 he had another skiing accident.  “When my ribs healed all crooked, it ended up throwing my lower back out.”  Jeff’s medical report indicates 2 spinal injuries.

In 2006, one of his best friends breaks his back…

View original post 903 more words

Roger, 52

My latest Patient Story about Medical Cannabis..

Meet Roger..

Higher Living Wellness Centre Inc.

Rick Simpson OilRSO

Five years ago, Roger had to leave his job as an inter provincial auto technician.  His hip was giving out and causing him a great deal of pain.  He had an unsuccessful hip surgery on one side and it impacted the other side from compensating for the weaker hip.  He had to wait 3 1/2 years for surgery.  Residing in New Brunswick, doctor wait lists and surgical wait times can be lengthy as is often the case in Eastern Canada.

July 2016, Roger had been involved in a dog attack resulting in severe right shoulder damage and nerve damage in his neck.  He is currently waiting on MRI results.

Prior to that, Roger had been involved in a motocross racing accident as a teenager that ended up crushing the bottom vertebrae in his lower spine.  Doctors told him that he could expect to be in a wheelchair by age…

View original post 959 more words

Can I Borrow a Spoon or Two?

Bzzzzzzzz the anxiety is high today.  Bzzzzzzz It rings in my ears, vibrates through my bones, reverberates through my skin and echoes through my lungs as my chest tightens in around itself like a nervous armadillo.   Bzzzzzz  my eyes lose focus and my train of thought ceases.  Bzzzzzzz I forget how to breath and here comes the tears.  It’s getting dark.  It’s a panic attack.

This is how I started my morning.  The last few days I’ve been physically and mentally exhausted.  I’m wide awake all night long and unable to fall asleep until almost lunchtime.  I get a few hours of snooze and then I’m up again.  Not quite awake but not asleep, I’ve been drifting through the last few days like a ghost.

I’ve had a lot of pain in my wrist/arm which I am now convinced is broken but I loathe hospitals and rarely have a drive so I haven’t gone and gotten it checked out.  What the hell am I gonna do with a cast on my arm? I got shit to do.  I usually have to feel like I’m physically dying to justify going to the Emergency room.   With all the pain in my wrist, back and neck, the only way I’m comfortable is lying down.  I’ve gotten nothing done around the house, I haven’t blogged or been on Social Media, other than brief lurking and Gif viewing.

I’m just tired.

Tomorrow, we travel home to Nova Scotia for Christmas.  We have to take the ferry.  It wouldn’t be as bad if we had a car but lugging all our suitcases and my little dog and standing outside in the weather until boarding time then all the walking you have to do once you board just kills my body.  I have to drop my dog off at the kennels and then go up stairs to find a place to perch.  It’s the holidays so I’m guessing the boat will be packed with people.  Ugh. It’s usually cold on the boat so I’ll have to bring a blanket.  The whole thing is a pain in the ass.  I look forward to the day when we can just pack up our car and drive there, avoiding all the noise, hassle, pain and cold of the ferry.  I usually need a day or so to recover from the travel.  It’s embarrassing.  

It’s a week of visiting and dinners and family and friends and food I’m not supposed to eat.  I’ve mentioned before how I’m not in the Christmas spirit at all this year, so it’ll be a week of acting, watching my language and making sure my dog doesn’t poop anywhere in the house.  My mother in law’s house is really large so it’s a lot of walking and stairs.  At some point, my legs will go out and I’ll be stuck in the basement for a day crying out of frustration and humiliation.   

Don’t get me wrong, I love my in laws.  They’re wonderful people and they’ve been very kind to me.  I love to see them and the little nieces.  It’s just me.  My body doesn’t always cooperate.  I get tired fast.  I just run out of spoons.  It both depresses and frightens me so I cry.  I’m peri menopausal so I cry.  I’m grateful for their kindness so I cry.  I cry over everything these days.  It’s embarrassing and I don’t want them to think less of me.

I’m a bumbling, Pajama wearing mess.

But I have to try to be normal for a week.  

I have a ton of shit to do today to prepare for our trip, I just want to crawl back in to a warm bed and sleep.


How do you handle all the activity during the holiday season?

What do you do when you just don’t have enough spoons?

I love reading your comments!

Subscribe to my mailing list and follow me on Twitter @LezGeek

The Blog Broad Tag


Sam

My Addiction: A Sweet Tale

addicted to sugarWe’re an indulgent society aren’t we?  We binge eat, binge drink, binge watch ourselves in to addiction, obesity, diabetes, loneliness and isolation.  When it comes to indulgence, we don’t do anything half-assed.  We save the sloppy for the big things, the things that really matter.  Things like personal relationships, jobs/careers and responsibilities will often get thrown by the wayside to make room for some of our dark indulgences..

I’m going to tell you about one of mine… 

My kryptonite…

A few years back… wait… it’s been a decade.  Where does the time go?  Anyway, a decade ago, my aunt gave me 2 dozen homemade shortbread cookies.  It was Christmas, and she knew they were my favorite.  Christmas Eve I found my self watching the old 1951 black and white A Christmas Carol starring Alastair Sim, alone, an annual tradition of mine- when I realize I’ve eaten all 2 dozen cookies.  I had purchased some shortbreads from the store earlier not realizing I would get these homemade ones, so I found those and I ate them too.

This was not, and wouldn’t be my last rodeo battling shortbread addiction. 

Shortbread Cookies

Years prior, I visited my mother in Ontario for the holidays.  In anticipation of my arrival, she baked 4 dozen shortbread cookies.  I ate them all.  Myself.  True story.  I couldn’t shit for a week.  Since the counter on which they enticingly sat was a mere foot step and a hop away from the bathroom door, I would grab one or 2 on my way.  Each time I passed that alluring plate, I would grab 1 or 2.  I would wake up in the morning with ghost crumbs on my face and pillow without recollection of having eaten cookies.

This remains a battle to this day.  Every holiday season I simply MUST have shortbread cookies.  I’ve seen myself counting coins out at home only to rush to the store to buy the in-store baked shortbreads.  They’re not as good.  Must be missing the love.  They’re made with minimum wage resentment instead of love.  Not the same at all. 

My lust for the sweets doesn’t end there.  It also extends to cakes, pies, loaves, donuts, flaky pastries, cupcakes and squares.  (I like to eat)

mmmmmm... donuts...
mmmmm… donuts…

I’ve baked and iced chocolate cakes only to eat the entire thing myself in 2 days.

My inner “Sweets Whore” has no personal time clock.  She will covet a slice of that chocolate cake your sister in law made at 3 am.  She doesn’t care if everyone’s asleep.  She will make you eat cheesecake in your underwear over the sink at midnight like some kind of sugar fiending Gollum.  No shame.

Must have the precious - Gollum

In recent years, I have been diagnosed with a wheat/gluten intolerance.  Now when I eat baked goods I inflame.  I swell in my hands, eyes, feet and legs.  I get eczema patches and rashes all over my body and face, particularly my eyes.  I get furiously tired, unfocused and scatterbrained.

Well played God.  Well played.

I think you’ve had enough cookies my child.

What about pie?

No.

It’s going to be challenging going home this year for Christmas.  There’s always delicious food and homemade things everywhere.  I have to stay away because I can’t take the consequences anymore.  It’s hard to really enjoy that cake when you know that the next day, you’re going to fully understand why dogs bum scoot on carpets..  Yeah… that’s a symptom of wheat allergy/gluten intolerance.

I must stay strong.  I can do this.

Are you addicted to sweets?

Do you have a wheat allergy or gluten intolerance?

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam

 

 

Images

Gollum  https://hotwhitesnow.wordpress.com/2016/04/05/my-precious/

Addcted to sugar  https://goqii.com/blog/are-you-craving-for-sugar/

Woman looking at donuts  https://www.rodalewellness.com/weight-loss/4-reasons-youre-addicted-to-sweets

Shortbread cookies  http://www.cbc.ca/food/recipes/recipe-shortbread-cookies