I don’t want to sound like another man hating lesbian, but I am becoming a man hating lesbian.
For years I have been watching almost every damn woman I know struggle. Struggle for equality in pay, struggle for opportunities, struggle in love, with their self worth and even with their own identities. At the root of a lot of these struggles, is men.
I see my well educated double degree and masters holders, business owners, professionals, beautiful strong women friends being oppressed by men. I see friends who are absolutely stunning women, struggling with self confidence. I see talented, exceptional women being held back with pay and job security. I see my highly intelligent friends questioning themselves. I see my beautiful friends everywhere being treated poorly by men children.
What’s a man child you ask? Well it’s simple. It’s a man who’s emotional growth stopped at pubescence. He cares about material items, looking cool or tough in front of others. He likes his toys. He thinks primarily of himself and his needs rarely giving a moment to consider yours. He doesn’t ask you about you and would rather blather on about his own problems. He likes to hear himself talk and often seeks an audience. He doesn’t see you as an equal. He sees you as his property, his meal ticket, his product, his inferior because he is the man and you’re the woman. He can’t handle pressure or any real responsibility either.
I’m angry about how men have been treating women for ages both professionally and personally, and in light of recent events of all the shit bags in entertainment, news and politics being called out, I want to jump in on that momentum.
It needs to stop.
A man doing the same job as his female co worker should not earn more simply because he has a penis. “Oh this doesn’t still happen though, things have changed” you might say. No. They haven’t. Most women (unless you’re Meryl fucking Streep) working in entertainment, TV, film, news and radio, often, do NOT earn equal pay to her male counterpart. And honestly, I bet Meryl had to endure her fair share of shit early in her career. Women’s ideas are NOT listened to or taken seriously. She is forced to endure inappropriate comments and unwanted advances. She is told she has to look pretty and wear make up. She is undervalued, underpaid and overworked.
“But if you work hard you can do anything you set your mind to”
That’s some great advice from a man right there, because he is oblivious to how the other half truly lives. It’s not his fault, he’s just always been a man.
“There are still some great men out there.”
Yes, but they are few and far between. A dying breed if you will. We had a small resurgence of the sensitive man that came as a result of 90s grunge and the angst ridden, tortured souls of the Prozac and Cobain generation. These men can often be found sporting beards and man buns wearing toddlers like vests.
“What is a real man then?”
A real man builds others up regardless of gender.
A real man sees qualifications and hard work, not your breasts.
A real man treats
women others with respect.
A real man has integrity.
A real man isn’t guided simply by ego.
A real man treats his woman with respect, is supportive, caring and kind. He puts your needs before his own. He values you as a partner and a person. He loves his family.
“What makes you an expert in men? You’re gay.”
For 34 years I lived in denial trying to get by as a “straight woman”. I dated many men. I have a father and step father. I have 3 step brothers. I have had probably 20 male bosses in my life and hundreds of male co workers. I’ve always had plenty of female friends throughout my life, and I am a good listener. I have paid attention.
You might be a shit bag employer if:
You hire women based on what they look like. As a teen, I worked in 2 of biggest coffee shops for years. Not only was I sexually harassed, had my boss rub up against me, but, that same boss blatantly stated one day that he’s “not going to hire her, because she’s kind of ugly and has a big ass.” Now that’s a minimum wage job. We see all the shit that’s coming out of the woodwork in the high power world of entertainment, news and politics- (Matt Lauer I’m looking you, you dirty creepy shit weasel) what do you think it’s like in the real world?
You say really inappropriate, cringeworthy things to and around your female staff and colleagues. I had an employer tell me once that I had “Nice blow job lips.” This came from a supervisor. Fucking creepy. I didn’t even feel safe at a couple of my jobs.
You talk about sex openly.
“Pal, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I don’t want to hear about it, and I certainly don’t want to picture your ugly ass naked.”
Look, I know there a few good men still out there. I even know a handful. I see you, I applaud you, I respect you.
However for all the women out there that are:
Struggling to be heard at work
Struggling with your careers in a male dominated workplace
Struggling with dead beat Dads
Being taken advantage of
Being taken for granted
Being disrespected, lied to, cheated on
Being abused verbally, physically or emotionally
You deserve more. You’re a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. You deserve better.
I see you. I applaud you for your strength, courage and determination. I respect you.
Image “Empower” courtesy of Pixabay (Creative Commons)