Men:  A Scathing Review

I don’t want to sound like another man hating lesbian, but I am becoming a man hating lesbian.  

For years I have been watching almost every damn woman I know struggle.  Struggle for equality in pay, struggle for opportunities, struggle in love, with their self worth and even with their own identities.  At the root of a lot of these struggles, is men.  

I see my well educated double degree and masters holders, business owners, professionals, beautiful strong women friends being oppressed by men.  I see friends who are absolutely stunning women, struggling with self confidence.  I see talented, exceptional women being held back with pay and job security.  I see my highly intelligent friends questioning themselves.  I see my beautiful friends everywhere being treated poorly by men children.  

What’s a man child you ask?   Well it’s simple.  It’s a man who’s emotional growth stopped at pubescence.  He cares about material items, looking cool or tough in front of others.  He likes his toys.  He thinks primarily of himself and his needs rarely giving a moment to consider yours.  He doesn’t ask you about you and would rather blather on about his own problems.  He likes to hear himself talk and often seeks an audience.  He doesn’t see you as an equal.  He sees you as his property, his meal ticket, his product, his inferior because he is the man and you’re the woman.  He can’t handle pressure or any real responsibility either.

I’m angry about how men have been treating women for ages both professionally and personally, and in light of recent events of all the shit bags in entertainment, news and politics being called out, I want to jump in on that momentum.

It needs to stop.  

A man doing the same job as his female co worker should not earn more simply because he has a penis.  “Oh this doesn’t still happen though, things have changed” you might say.   No.  They haven’t.  Most women (unless you’re Meryl fucking Streep) working in entertainment, TV, film, news and radio, often, do NOT earn equal pay to her male counterpart.  And honestly, I bet Meryl had to endure her fair share of shit early in her career.  Women’s ideas are NOT listened to or taken seriously.  She is forced to endure inappropriate comments and unwanted advances.   She is told she has to look pretty and wear make up.  She is undervalued, underpaid and overworked.

“But if you work hard you can do anything you set your mind to”

That’s some great advice from a man right there, because he is oblivious to how the other half truly lives.  It’s not his fault, he’s just always been a man.

“There are still some great men out there.”

Yes, but they are few and far between.  A dying breed if you will.  We had a small resurgence of the sensitive man that came as a result of 90s grunge and the angst ridden, tortured souls of the Prozac and Cobain generation.  These men can often be found sporting beards and man buns wearing toddlers like vests.

“What is a real man then?”

A real man builds others up regardless of gender.  

A real man sees qualifications and hard work, not your breasts.

A real man treats women others with respect.  

A real man has integrity.

A real man isn’t guided simply by ego.

A real man treats his woman with respect, is supportive, caring and kind.  He puts your needs before his own.  He values you as a partner and a person.  He loves his family.

“What makes you an expert in men?  You’re gay.”

For 34 years I lived in denial trying to get by as a “straight woman”.   I dated many men.  I have a father and step father.  I have 3 step brothers.  I have had probably 20 male bosses in my life and hundreds of male co workers.  I’ve always had plenty of female friends throughout my life, and I am a good listener.  I have paid attention.

You might be a shit bag employer if:
You hire women based on what they look like.   As a teen, I worked in 2 of biggest coffee shops for years.  Not only was I sexually harassed, had my boss rub up against me, but, that same boss blatantly stated one day that he’s “not going to hire her, because she’s kind of ugly and has a big ass.”  Now that’s a minimum wage job.  We see all the shit that’s coming out of the woodwork in the high power world of entertainment, news and politics- (Matt Lauer I’m looking you, you dirty creepy shit weasel) what do you think it’s like in the real world?  

You say really inappropriate, cringeworthy things to and around your female staff and colleagues.  I had an employer tell me once that I had “Nice blow job lips.”  This came from a supervisor.  Fucking creepy.  I didn’t even feel safe at a couple of my jobs.

You talk about sex openly.  

“Pal, you’re barking up the wrong tree.  I don’t want to hear about it, and I certainly don’t want to picture your ugly ass naked.”
Look, I know there a few good men still out there.  I even know a handful.  I see you, I applaud you, I respect you.

However for all the women out there that are:

Struggling to be heard at work

Struggling with your careers in a male dominated workplace

Struggling with dead beat Dads

Being taken advantage of

Being taken for granted

Being disrespected, lied to, cheated on

Being abused verbally, physically or emotionally

You deserve more.  You’re a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman.  You deserve better.

I see you.  I applaud you for your strength, courage and determination.  I respect you.

Empowering Women
Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

Sam
Image “Empower” courtesy of Pixabay (Creative Commons)

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26 thoughts on “Men:  A Scathing Review

      1. I am not sure women are being listened to, while I am still not sure where I stand, there is a growing number of women who feel that women only spaces are gradually being taken over by men being able to self identify as women. I am still trying to figure out whether this is anything in it, or if it is tin foil hat terrority

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Here is the real, secret root of this age-old misogyny that almost no man will admit to and even fewer are self-aware enough to see: men are petrified of women. Men are frightened of their own emotions and the generally greater courage of the female in feeling and processing these internal drives makes us feel justifiably inferior. Also, when it comes to sexual matters, women often want men but men NEED women. So rather than work through the subconscious drives behind this need, instead we attempt to subjugate and control the very people we need and secretly fear. There are always exceptions, of course, but in general, women are more capable of weathering storms, of providing comfort, of conflict resolution, and of facing uncomfortable truths without donning a false veneer of toughness. And deep down, no matter how chauvinistic we may choose to present ourselves, we know this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great perspective. I figured this all stems back to insecurity. The funny thing is, is that I’ve told a lot of my friends that “shit bag” behavior stems from insecurities. I knew it. Many of us can see right through it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know how most men are or can be, because I am a man myself. I’m not even remotely surprised why so many women are becoming lesbian.

    I was always different from those other men you describe in your article. But why is it that women assume that a man is gay if he is kind, warm, friendly, or nurturing like me? I don’t get it. 😕

    Still love reading your blog, by the way. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Women can be dumb lol the best men I know were often confused for gay men. The way I see it, it’s kind of a compliment. It’s so rare to meet kind gentle men these days. When I dated men- THOSE are the ones I liked. Not the machismo men. I have 2 friends who were blessed to find really great guys.. I applaud them and I applaud you Sir 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you and Right On, Sister! I’m a member of second-wave feminists–late 60s and the ERA push in the 70s. Although I had my share of sexual harassment, was raised to act stupid so the boys wouldn’t know I was so smart, learned to darn socks, iron a white cotton shirt, and cook meat and potatoes meals–I got out of town as soon as I graduated from high school. Although I LOVED nursing and was a Candy Striper in high school, I found a career in male-dominated agricultural reporting and then advertising/PR. I didn’t return to nursing until I had succeeded in business. I needed to show women could have careers in areas other than teaching, secretarial and nursing.

    I married a truly egalitarian male, but just in case I misjudged in my youth and inexperience, I was very clear at the beginning of our relationship. If he ever disrespected or raised a hand to me I was gone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad I was born a little later.. I would have been ultra defiant in learning “man pleasing” skills lol I just see so many brilliant, beautiful, talented, educated women being oppressed and dis-empowered. Genetalia shouldn’t factor in to how a person is treated. Especially in the workplace. When everyone has the same educational background, qualifications and abilities- it should just be equal. Weird that we’re still fighting for basic rights and treatment.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. There are two fantastic docs on Netflix that I recommend everyone should be required to watch that deal with gender roles and power. Until we all examine our own participation in establishing gender roles, nothing will change. Not just men, but women too. Men need to learn to express their feelings. Little boys cry. Little boys are sensitive but they are TAUGHT to “be a man.” And this is not isolated to just the father. Mothers do it too. Then the whole tough guy persona is reinforced by violence in the media. Furthermore, we women are complicit in holding each other back; whenever we judge other women or talk shit behind their back. One thing about men is they tend to have each other’s backs. Women, on the other hand, are just as likely to blame the victim of a sexual assault as men are. Women tend not to vote for other women. This is all learned behaviour and mostly done on a subconscious level. We need to examine gender roles. They are roles: behaviours that are learned. But anything that is learned can be UNlearned. Please check out “The Mask You Live In” and “Miss Representation” on Netflix. If you haven’t seen these already, I guarantee they will open up your eyes to the social construction of gender roles, and make you more aware of it when you see the ways the media helps construct these roles. It doesn’t have to be this way, we can change things. But we need to raise awareness! Great post, Sam!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Buddy! Yeah I agree with you on women talking shit about other women.. I try not to do that, I really try to empower other women and be kind and complimentary (if it’s genuine of course) if I don’t have anything nice to say about another woman I try not to say anything at all. This was/is a huge reason why I can’t stand Hillary Clinton.. She threatened women who fell victim to her grabby hands husband. She put them down and made their lives hell. In the same breath she claims publicly to be for women’s rights and children’s rights. She’s a fucking liar. These are not women I admire or endorse. No one ASKS to be assaulted. Ugh.. This world..

      Liked by 1 person

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