So I see that people are well in to their Blogmas traditions of writing Christmas inspired posts each day leading up to Christmas.
I’m not going to give you my favorite cookie recipes, because I don’t have any. I’m not going to tell you the best places to go or shop because, I’m poor. I don’t Christmas shop because I can’t Christmas shop. This is the third year in a row I can’t shop. I only earn a little bit of money each month from blogging and doing my neighbor’s laundry. It doesn’t equate to much.
Why don’t you make something for Christmas? Well, you see I am short materials to do any of the crafts I typically do. I need yarn (and frankly I am not a gifted knitter), I need paints and canvases as I am out of all those. I don’t have ink in my printer, so homemade cards are out, I don’t have any construction paper either so.. Crafts are out.
To be honest, I kind of hate Christmas now. I have no contact with my family. They don’t want to see me. My illness has inconvenienced them where I owe them money for an old loan. They don’t even believe I have an illness, I’m simply lazy. I have a lot of resentment towards my family now. I don’t care if see them anymore. To lose control over your body at a fairly young age and NOT have any support, love or compassion from your parents is miserably lonely and I’m so angry at them all (my parents are divorced and remarried so I have 4) for never being there for me. Ever. Any time in my life I have needed help from my parents, they’ve ignored me. Just like when I lived with my father growing up, he ignored me. I felt invisible. If I cried in my bedroom- he simply turned the volume up on the TV. I took myself to the hospital and paid for my own medications and pads. He wouldn’t even buy me pads.
My mother hasn’t spoken to me in years banning me from ever calling her house. I guess I was a little too happy the last time I called, it seemed to offend them somehow. Oh right, they’re negative assholes. All of my parents are negative narcissistic Nellies.
The new Christmas tradition with my partner includes us travelling via ferry to Nova Scotia and driving a couple of hours to her family home to spend Christmas with them. Her mom always has a beautifully decorated tree that I sit and admire. We get together Christmas morning and open gifts with the little nieces, a.k.a the cutest little girls in the world. Watching their excitement as they tear open presents is pretty adorable.
Everyone down home makes fantastic foods and sweets. My sister in law makes this to die for lobster dip that really is a gift in itself. I can almost taste that velvety creamy delectable dip piled high on a salty ripple potato chip. I also really look forward to my mother in law’s cooking, particularly her stuffing. The brother in law is a lobsterman so there’s often fresh lobster which was always a tradition for my father as well. Lobster for Christmas Eve. I LOVE SEAFOOD. I usually try to fill up on as much as I can we go back to Nova Scotia.
Yeah, so I guess Christmas is about food to me now.
And the Doctor Who Christmas episode of course. That’s a tradition.
I love homemade cookies, shortbread, gingerbread, fruitcake, squares, pie, and cake. I love hors d’oeuves and finger foods. I love turkey dinner and more importantly, the Boxing Day Turkey sandwich. This is a sandwich that combines leftover turkey, gravy, dressing, and cranberry sauce (homemade not canned) in to a sandwich that I literally think of ALL year long. I begin anticipating it heavily as I help package up Christmas dinner and do the dishes. You think I’m helping, but I’m really surveying what’s remaining for tomorrow’s sandwich rubbing my hands eagerly together like some kind of holiday sandwich fiend.
So even though I don’t spend the holidays with my family, I am grateful for my partner’s family. Who really are better people anyway. I just wish I could buy presents for people. The fun part of Christmas is giving people gifts. Not getting but giving. I usually get really stoked when I have found the perfect gift for someone, it just makes you feel good.
We don’t have a tree in our apartment although we would love one. There isn’t much room for one and we really don’t have the money to buy a tree, the lights and ornaments and stuff so it doesn’t really feel like Christmas for us until a couple of days before when we arrive at her mother’s house. It won’t feel like Christmas for a while yet.
What are your traditions? Are you participating in Blogmas this year?
Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,