New Fall Writing Project

Medical cannabisCannabis.  A personal favorite topic of mine.  I suffer with a few chronic pain conditions (Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease and Endometriosis) and after trying dozens of prescription medications that offered far more negative side effects than actual relief, I discovered cannabis through a friend of mine.  It worked.  It worked far better than the numerous pills- opiates, benzos, anxiety and sleeping medications, anti inflammatories, Gabapentin, Lyrica and high doses of antidepressants that were slowly killing me.  All I did was sleep.  I was dizzy with vertigo, nauseous and just numb.  At one point I even ballooned up to 260 pounds.  I was also starting to have problems with my liver.  I learned over time that the more cannabis I used, I didn’t need the Gabapentin, the Lyrica, the Amitriptyline,  the benzos and I was even able to reduce my dosage of antidepressants.  I laughed more.  I lost weight.  I enjoyed things more.  I hurt way less, I threw up less, I just felt better.  It took years for me to finally convince my doctor to prescribe it to me legally.  I brought her articles and Post Its with websites and video suggestions, my documented evidence that it indeed worked well for pain without all the side effects.  I have been pro cannabis (used responsibly) for many years.  

A couple of years ago, one of my best friends opened a dispensary in Nova Scotia and I have been a big proponent of hers since.  She helps patients who are dealing with cancer, long term illnesses and chronic pain disorders.  She believes that people have the right to alternative health care and the right to medicate with cannabis.  I tend to agree with her.  We are in the midst of a large scale opiate epidemic that is not only destroying lives, but destroying families and creating a large burden on our health care system.  That epidemic has some sinister roots all leading back to profits.  In all, opiates tend to be over prescribed. Positive features of cannabis

Although here in Canada, we are on the brink of Legalization of Marijuana, there are still many kinks to be worked out, policies to be devised, laws to be developed and bills to be passed.  In the meantime, patients are being left at the mercy of the large corporate Licensed Producers (LPs) who deal in mass quantities, at higher prices and in many cases, poorer quality.  There have even been mass recalls where toxic pesticides were discovered during random testing on crops that were advertised as organic.  These LPs deal in online sales predominantly.  I can’t help but wonder;

Annual Deaths MarijuanaWhat if you’re sick or elderly?  Maybe you can’t afford Internet or don’t have a computer or smartphone.  What if you’ve never tried cannabis and have questions about what strains would work best, or how you can expect to feel?  Maybe you want to try alternatives to smoking.  Maybe you’d prefer to ingest oils and edibles.  What about these people?  This is why the role of dispensaries should be considered a crucial part of Legalization.  To make sure people are being educated on what they are buying.  To make sure there are plenty of options to medicate that don’t include smoking.  To service people who can’t afford large quantities.  

These are the things my friend fights for and why I both support and admire her.  Recently we discussed starting a blog for her shop featuring patient stories so I’m happy to say that is my new job.  Tonight I interviewed my first patient and designed the blog site.  I’m hoping to have it finished and published no later than Friday.  I plan on sharing it once I’m finished and I really hope that some of you check it out if that’s something you are interested in.

Having a new (paid) project gives me a sense of purpose and a pep in my step.  I am really looking forward to doing to the best job I can for her to make it successful.  I am very grateful for the opportunity.

 

Have you tried cannabis?  What’s your story?

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

 

Sam

 

Images

One of the many exceptional features of cannabis is… https://illegallyhealed.com/millions-of-cannabis-patients-are-frustrating-jerry-are-you-one-of-them/

Annual Deaths  http://medicalcannabiscultivation.com/medical-marijuana-pain-relief/

“Medical Marijuana”  http://lasvegasreleaf.com/nevada-legalized-marijuana-now-faq/

Ol’ One Eye

Sam Clattenburg

Ol’ One Eye this morning.   My right eye hath betrayed me.  Might be too much screen time or not enough sleep.  It’s difficult to say when it comes to Fibromyalgia.   This thing happens with my eye where it swells and feels freshly poked.  You know when you accidentally poke yourself in the eye and it stings and waters?  Yeah, I get that for days at a time.  I didn’t sleep well last night because of neck and back pain so, here I am, Ol’ One Eye…

As much as I want to write new material today (and the urge is mighty) I think I need to rest my eye.  I’m going to take a day off from blogging.  My body is clearly telling me to take a break so I think I should listen.  

Now if I can just keep myself away from reading much today.  I’m halfway through Revival by Stephen King and I’m really digging it.  (I’m just a harmless book Sam, no screen here… why don’t you pick me up and touch me?) Also halfway through Doctor Sleep but that’s on my IPad so that one has to wait.

Wishing you all a great day

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously, 

Sam

I’m Drowning in Notifications

It’s Sunday (but feels like Saturday with undertones of Wednesday).  It’s a grey humid day and I need tea.  I’m stumbling around after a restless night’s sleep from the sinister torment creeping through my legs from myofascial pain and arthritis, muttering to myself about the good old days and whether spiders are as afraid of us as we are of them like the old lady I am quickly morphing in to.  I am trying to clean out my emails from both accounts and holy shit, the amount of emails is overwhelming.  Overwhelming to the point where I avoid it sometimes so long that it literally takes hours to sift through.  I have to psych myself up to even open it. “Ok, you’ve got to do this, here’s some wine, here’s some Queens of the Stone Age and a big fattie, and.. Go!”

 

Let me begin by saying, as a staunchly anal retentive woman of my forties, I simply cannot understand the need for so much communication.  Before the Internet age and smartphones we never knew what other people were doing at any given point in the day, and that was ok.  We didn’t need to talk and stay in touch constantly.  There was quiet time and face to face time and time to read books.  We even used to watch TV and just sit there, on one channel through the commercials and all- doing nothing!  That seems like a lifetime ago.  The other day I noticed that when I posted on Facebook I got a notification letting me know I just posted on Facebook.  Like, I was there Bitch!  I know!

 

I can’t stand the constant notifications.  I have disabled all of them on my laptop but in case something happens, I have slight FOMO- (fear of missing out) I have not disabled them on my phone although I do, at the frustration of many, constantly keep my phone on silent.  I have PTSD and even the sound of the TARDIS materializing (my notification sound) or the Coronation Street theme (my ringtone) often scares the crap out of me.   My problem is that I can’t stand to see the light on my phone blinking or a red number icon showing on my apps alerting me to notifications.  I HAVE to clear it.  I’m drowning in fucking notifications.  I have taken to turning my phone off at night because of the damn blinking light and my constant need to clear it.

 

The Facebook emails.  The majority of my inbox consists of Facebook, Twitter and WordPress notifications.  These are apps that I am on daily, regularly.  Why can’t I just get notified on the app rather than receive an email, a text, a telegram, morse code and a carrier pigeon telling me someone liked my post/tweet/blog?  I don’t know, maybe there is a way of eliminating all these emails, if someone knows how, please tell me in the comments before I lose my damn mind.

 

It’s a typical Sunday here in Saint John.  I’m playing with this useless Snapchat app that all the kids are using, another time waster and more notifications. The wife is making homemade egg rolls which takes her hours so I am preparing myself for the cursing, the tears, the throwing of things and the eating of the ones that don’t come out perfect.  The pain is bad today so I’m just gonna get vertical on the couch with Lucy the Dog and the Doctor (this past season of Doctor Who for the fourth time), while I think about the good old days and what I would do in the event of a Cyberman attack, oh and clear 600 emails and notifications.

 

How was your weekend?

 

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,

 

Sam

Snapchat

 Find me on SnapChat sam_clattenburg if you’re bored

Doctor Who Slippers and Middle Finger Flippers

TARDIS slippers

Well, it’s happening.  Winter is coming.  (Giant groan) I hate winter.  I spent today literally wrapped up in fleece trying to stay warm and dry.   Saint John is such a soggy city.  It rains more than anywhere I’ve ever lived.  

I’ve broke out all my ugly fleece pants.  Today I’m rockin purple ones.  I’ve had the space heater going all day trying to get the dank out of our tiny apartment.   I spent the day flipping between two different books I am reading simultaneously, Doctor Sleep and Revival both by my idol- Stephen King.   The only man I allow in my bed. 

Everything hurts; right down to the joints in my fingers.   FML

To top things off I am in the beginning stages of menopause.  I know it’s menopause because I go from mellow to bitch in under 3 seconds.  I just want to strip off all my clothes no matter where I am and just beat on and berate the next person I see in all my naked glory.  I’m also an emotional mess.   Old episodes of Sex and the City has left me crying all over myself after blowing through two rolls of toilet paper.  When does this stop?  How long will I be a surly, sweaty, crying mess?  

Other things I could do without are as follows:

Cruise Ship Horns–  We live in a port city and all the big cruise ships park just a couple of streets down from where we live.  I can actually see the ships in great detail from my bedroom window.  You can only imagine how loud those horns are or how many teas I’ve spilled down the front of my shirt when they unexpectedly blow at any random time of day.

Slipping on Wet Leaves– It has begun. I slipped yesterday on a yellow maple leaf.  It’s much like slipping on a banana peel only far less amusing.

Everything Looks Dirty– It’s amazing how sunshine and greenery can clean up a city.  I love where I live in the summers, but come the fall everything looks dirty, ugly and depressing.  I am ready for Arizona.  Oh God I wish I could winter there. 

Even the People Start to Look Dirty– In the summer, people walk by smiling, carrying their summer beverages, giddy and laughing.  I have developed “street friendships” with many of the other dog owners so it’s normal to stop and chat.  Now it’s people trying to stay warm and dry.  They quickly shuffle past you, no smiles, no Hellos, just a person trying to get where they gotta go dragging an unwilling dog behind them.  It’s like everyone gets a little less friendly as the weather changes.

Pain, Pain and more Pain– I have crippling arthritis and Fibromyalgia.   I’m like Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde comparing summers to winters.   I know it’s not winter yet but the “in between” seasons in Eastern Canada is basically our rainy seasons.   When winter ends, it rains until summer, when summer ends, it rains until winter.  Our year looks like this:

Rain > 2 weeks of a “Spring” > Rain > A little “Summer” > Rain > Cold as shit > Rain > Winter (also cold as shit)

I’m going to need more Tylenol.  Also, why don’t they make heating pads larger?  Like full body length?  

The season changes always result in a week or two of insomnia, headaches and bouts of crying.   How do you deal where you live?  Is it warm where you are?  Can I come live with you until our 2 weeks of Spring arrives?  

In the meantime,

Live Humbly, Be Charitable, Live Graciously,
Sam

Germain Street
Dreary Saint John
*Photos are my own

These Days

I am having a bad day.  I’ve been dealing with physical pain the last few days.  This always happens with a season change.  It starts with the sleepless nights.  The tossing and the turning.  Sleepless because my legs and feet ache.  A cold throbbing ache through to my bone that refuses to subside no matter how I position myself.  Next it’s the neck pain.  I am writing this currently with a hot magic bag wrapped around my neck.  Then the spine pain.  I’m eating Tylenols like Pez while propped up by pillows and have broken out the space heater.  In the meantime, I wanted to post at least twice a week to the Blog Broad but it’s difficult to be witty when you’re in pain.  All I want to do is ensconce myself in fleece and watch things that make me cry.  I like to hide that part of myself; the sick part of myself.  I prefer to retreat like a wounded animal far away from people.   I feel like I have nothing of importance to say or pass on on days like this.  It takes a big toll on my confidence.  I spend these days in a state of anxiety and nothing I write is ever good enough. 

On “these days” I am going to post “Guest Pieces”.  By a good friend of mine. I am urging her to start her own blog because she is a fabulous writer and I really enjoy her style. Last year she wrote a book and is in the process of finding a publisher. I read her book. Not only was it full of humor and things I could relate to, I couldn’t put it down and finished it in a couple of days. I really hope she finds a way to get it out there for other people to enjoy. She is a teacher by career, so her life is incredibly busy. Until she starts her own blog up she’s going to occasionally send me pieces and I will share them here.  

Stay tuned for guest posts by Ocean Hayward …